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ARE YOU A CHILD WHO NEEDS HELP OR WANTS TO TALK TO SOMEONE?

What is abuse and neglect?

There are several different types of abuse and neglect—physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, and neglect.  Physical abuse includes pushing, hitting, kicking, and biting.  Emotional and verbal abuse includes name-calling, being told you are no good, and not being able to do anything right no matter how hard you try.  Sexual abuse includes someone touching you in a way that is uncomfortable to you.  Neglect includes not being fed, not having clean clothes to wear or warm clothes to wear, and living in a house that is not safe. 

Anyone can experience being abuse or neglected.  You and your siblings can be abused by a family member or by someone close to you.  The elderly can be abused by their family members or caretakers, and parents can also be abused by each other, a boy/girlfriend, or another family member.  Pets and animals can also be abused by a family member, and this can be scary to you and used as a way to control you or other family members.

Being abused or seeing a family member be hurt can cause many different feelings such as scared, alone, shy, mad, and embarrassed.  You and your family members can also think that it is your fault, and that you did something to make the person hurt them.  You and/or your siblings may also have a tough time concentrating in school if you are being hurt at home because you might be worried about what will happen when you go home after school.

There are several signs that someone is being abused or is witnessing someone being abused.  These included the obvious such as bruises and poor hygiene.  There are also several not so obvious signs such as being very tired, very quiet, not allowed to do extracurricular activities or have friends over, and bullying behavior.

If you are being abused, it may be tough for you to talk about it because you may feel embarrassed. You may be afraid that if you tell someone the abuse may get worse.  You love the person who is hurting you and don’t want the person to get into trouble. You are afraid your friends or classmates may not like you or not understand and blame you for the abuse.

Abuse happens for several reasons.  There is a cycle of violence from one generation to the next.  If an adult was abused as a child, he/she may abuse other people as he/she grows up because they were not taught any other way or never had a chance to talk about all of their feelings inside.  The person may have poor ways of dealing with things and act it out as abuse towards others.  Drugs and alcohol may increase the abuse, but it is NOT an excuse for someone to hurt someone else.

What can you do if you or someone you know is in this type of situation?  Always remember that it is not your fault.  No matter what you do, you do not deserve to be abused.  You should tell a safe grown-up such as a teacher, school counselor, or a friend’s parent because this is too much to handle alone for a kid.  You can create a personal safety plan about what you should do if you are being hurt or see someone being hurt.  You can call someone such as Children’s Inn.  Children’s Inn number is (605) 338-4880 or 1-888-378-7398.  Someone is always available to listen and help you.  Remember you are not alone!!